McElf GlassWorks

A Full Service Glass Art Studio

Captain’s Log: Notes to Self

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Today is a holiday so… I’m actually enjoying a little peace and quiet!

I’ve just finished cleaning off my desk and I found a few notes that I’d jotted down over the last few months. (They gather under my stapler… when my stapler topples off my desk, that’s my signal that it’s time to spiff up!)

So this one note — which to the best of my detective abilities is from the week of January 1, 2017 — is full of silly things my mom was uttering in her incredibly brain-addled state.

(She’s now only slightly addled. And next week she’ll be all glued-up so… What a relief, huh?! LOOK, I’M SORRY! I’m absolutely going to harass her about being glued together for the rest of her life, you know that, right? I absolutely cannot help myself.)

SO. Back to the note.

Some of the things she was gibbering about just made no sense:

“…They got the other pillow and the lines apart so that it was like 3 pieces in the wash…”

“…He can’t hear you because of his sunglasses…”

or at least… we think that’s what she said… Once in a while, we understood her perfectly, which actually had a tendency to made it worse.

For example.

Every day someone came around to clean the room which involved a quick mop and taking out the garbage.

Very nice young man: *knock, knock* “Housekeeping; OK to come in and clean?”

Mom: “Only if you clean like Jesus.”

— dead. silence. —

My mouth actually gaped open in horror. The gentleman hesitated a moment, looking over at mom with a look I absolutely could not decode.

Me: “Um… Mom? You feeling okay?”

Mom: “What?” She says, the word coming out like a teenager with an attitude, peeved that they would need to explain themselves. Like the rest of the world should understand perfectly: “He sounds like Jesus!”

At which point, the gentleman and I both smile at each other as he calmly replies, “Why, thank you, ma’am.”

He collects the rubbish, then as he’s heading out the door, says with absolute sincerity: “Have a blessed day, now.”

I remember trying so desperately not to laugh… the baby was asleep, as I recall… and Mom was fighting headaches… the effort of holding it in probably created internal stress fracturing.

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Life's too short for decaf coffee or annoying emails.

What I can't promise is regular, weekly emails. What I can promise is sporadic, humorous updates with a serious amount of gorgeous glassy adventures inside. Occasionally, there might even be a chance to join me for a cup o' coffee. (The really caffeinated kind!)

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